I haven’t written here in a long time and so many many things good, sad and bad have happened….

Today is a busy day. My daughter is getting her braces off! She is super excited. It’s been a long process exacerbated by this thing we call the Pandemic (bad thing, very bad) but today off they come.

After a little conversation about whether or not a small space between her bottom teeth matters, we determined it should be ok. I hope it will be. Actually, I’m a little concerned about whether or not we made the right choice. I wish Jason was here so he could share the blame if it was the wrong choice. Here’s where I would insert a crying laughing emoji if I knew how…

So here we are in May, 2021 and we seem to be at the tail end of a Pandemic that has upended everyone’s daily life. Those words aren’t even a good description of what this thing has done to most people. I don’t really want to write about the Pandemic. I don’t want to write about how we lost my Dad during it, how I cry and miss him everyday since he’s been gone, how I feel a huge responsibility for my Mom now and how I feel I’m failing most days. I don’t want to write about how the Pandemic messed up schools, made kids even more unsocial and more doubting of the wonderful people they were created to be. I don’t want to write about how it upended church, how with no science that made any sense my daughter was not allowed to attend her Grandpa’s funeral service because we could only have ten people in a church that normally fits 900, an arbitrary number set by the God-less state I live in. I started going to daily Mass when my dad first ended up in the hospital, it was outside, and I haven’t stopped since, it’s inside now. I would be an even bigger mess without Jesus. I don’t feel like writing about all the sleepless nights and restless days. I don’t want to write about the anxiety we had as we celebrated the holidays with a small subset of family because I needed things to feel a little bit normal as I mourned my beloved Daddy and missed him and wanted him to not be gone but to be here with us to celebrate so many good things. There were still good things and blessings happening during this Pandemic. We still celebrated with our family, Thanksgiving (outside), Christmas with testing and masks, and New Years all against the local health departments “orders”. If I had listened to the health department I would have missed a lot more than seven days with my dad. I would have missed his last Easter, birthday, Father’s Day, etc… If I had listened to our over-zealous divisive media I wouldn’t have seen my parents for months all for no good reason because none of us were sick. I don’t want to write about or argue about the governments over step and over reach into the lives of its citizens in the name of protecting us from that which is inevitable for every single soul. Last time I checked the mortality rate for a human was 100%. I don’t want to write about how we were kept from our Dad for the last seven days of his life because the hospital was worried we would either give him Covid or get Covid, that was until they needed a signature to make someone financially responsible for the autopsy bill, then they let me into the hospital and all the way up to the floor he was on to sign the paper but didn’t let me see him to say good-bye. I don’t want to write about how my Dad was so afraid of going to the hospital or to any doctor for that matter that I believe if they (the media) hadn’t terrified everyone he might have gone in to get care sooner. I don’t want to write about the fact that they tested my Dad three times for Covid, once after he had passed. They seemed to really want him to have it instead of the heart attack he died from while they were busy making sure he didn’t have Covid. I don’t want to write about how angry or sad I get when I think about how we lost my Dad.

Today I just want to write about my daughter because she is so happy to be getting her braces off. Such a simple normal thing to be happy about. I like that and I am grateful for that. My beautiful daughter is graduating from 8th grade in a couple of weeks. How did we get here? She is such a blessing. Even if I wasn’t her mom I would think she was a kind loving young lady with a good moral character and understanding of right and wrong. Does she like to clean her room? No, she’s not a saint…yet…and she’s pretty messy in general but in all the ways that matter, I see a soul always looking to God for guidance and trusting in His love for her and that makes me so very happy. I am praying daily that as she navigates these teen years she will continue to seek His face and know and understand her value and worth is found in Jesus. This little gal of ours continues to be a reminder to me of God’s endearing love for us and so for that I am also grateful…

So kind of a weird journal entry…it’s all I have for now as I really should be grading papers, well not papers but digital assignments and I’m trying to plan a fun taco party for my department, they were all so helpful and lovely when my Dad passed away I want to do something for them…I can hear my daughter in the other room…the braces are off, can’t wait to see her beautiful smile!!

So today for the removal of braces, God’s enduring love…and tacos!! I Give Thanks!!

KOR