My friend Becky…

In 1998 I walked into room 67 at Hoover High School and I met a woman named Becky Shiner.  I was a third-year teacher and thought I knew everything I needed to know.  I didn’t know it then but she would become my mentor and more importantly my friend, a person I grew to love and admire deeply.  

There were many times when I would watch Becky set up a lab or do something for a class and I would think, I’m going to do it my way, only to come back in between classes to ask her, so how did you do that? Because my way had utterly failed and I realized the brilliance that was Becky. Luckily, she was patient and never made fun of me when I figured out she knew better. Even today at Hoover High School her labs and lessons are still used to teach the students about Chemistry and Oceanography…another subject she loved 

I would come to school in the morning and I would hear her calling my name, “Deb…” and she’d share a piece of information or some funny or frustrating thing that happened at school or in life. She would give me a hug hello after every weekend when we were back together on Monday. I will miss her hugs.

Once she went to Hawaii for a visit, imagine my surprise when a coconut with postage on it, showed up for me in the front office.  She had mailed me a coconut from Hawaii.  “Deb…did you get the coconut?” She asked when she called me after getting back, “Yes, Becky, I got the coconut! “Oh good, they let you mail them from Hawaii, I’m so glad it got there.” I was too, it’s still in my classroom and kids ask about it all the time.   There are so many things around our classroom and back storage area that literally were written by Becky or written on by Becky…

Becky always had nail polish in her back desk drawer. Often I’d come in to see her polishing her nails in the morning. I always thought it was a funny thing because it was just gonna come off again, if you taught chemistry you’d know what I mean, but there she would be polishing them again in the morning the next day 

Becky loved her husband Jaxson, and at the beginning of every school year she would always be so excited to receive the beautiful roses he would send her on the first day of the new school year.  She also enjoyed Valentines Day and would happily share the funny and sweet cards she would get from him and the ones she got for him.

Becky loved to talk about her boys. When I first arrived Jack was a student at Hoover and Sean would run around the back area here and there usually playing with Lego’s.  It was fun to listen to her share about her family and watch the boys grow up through the years.  She was always so proud of them, even when the Spanish teacher stopped  by again after school to complain that Jack  was visiting too much in class with his buddies.  Years later she would always laugh when she would proudly say and now he’s completely fluent in Spanish. She loved to talk about Sean and his choir recitals, and some days she would run into my room shouting,  “I’m late Deb, I even set the alarm”,  as she rushed out to make it to a swim meet with the snacks in tow. It was fun to watch her get things ready for scouts, both Jack and Sean are Eagle scouts. Once when a Hoover student invited me to an Eagle Scout court she came with me so I would know someone. She loved to share about her grandkids and was always so excited to share when another one was on the way.  She loves her family with all her heart.  

I have so many memories of Becky in my life.  One day at school, I was having a hard time after Jason and I lost our first baby.  We were in her room after a meeting and Becky  asked me if I was ok and I burst into tears telling her it was just so hard and she just rubbed my back and told me it would be ok and sat with me while I cried.  Becky had no clue that no one besides Jason had done that for me. She just let me cry and comforted me.  Four years later she was the first person at school I told our adoption had finally gone through and we hugged and rejoiced together. 

Becky always took the time to talk with our daughter Laina and came to her birthday parties.  When Laina was old enough she invited her to come learn to swim at her house.  Laina learned to swim from Becky and when Becky found out I couldn’t swim either she taught me too. I tried to pay her for the lessons once and she said no, it was something she did to share her talents with others. She also taught me how to make soups and lemon bars and her famous sherbet watermelon cake.  Even after she retired she came to Laina’s cross country meets, track meets and Choir recitals.  She joined us for my birthday parties and invited us to bbqs and swimming at her house at least once or twice a summer. 

At Hoover, she celebrated everyone’s birthday whether they wanted to celebrate it or not.  She helped organize potlucks and gatherings and every year around Christmas we all got a jar of her pomegranate jelly.  I will miss that jelly. She cared deeply about her students and always wanted to make sure she was doing the right thing for them, even if it wasn’t the thing the district thought we should be doing.  She organized trips to elementary schools for her Honors kids and sold candy bars, collected recyclables and other fundraisers when we needed things for the students. She organized trips to Europe and coached swimming.  She served as department chair and lead teacher.  She was always willing to lend a hand, share a lesson or even help organize a lab.  She had a generosity that is rare. 

I last visited with her the week before school started.  I was sitting with her on the couch holding her hand and chatting with Jaxson about family and I mentioned my Dad had passed away during Covid and Becky looked at me and said, “Oh no, I didn’t know, I’m so sorry.”  Even in her illness she was generous, thoughtful and kind.  

I will miss her and I will try everyday to carry the memory of her generosity and love for people all my life.  I love you Becky, always. 

For my friend Becky…I Give Thanks!

My Coconut 🙂 🌴 ❤️

Becky

I went to see my friend Becky yesterday. She has Alzheimer’s and isn’t really eating that much anymore. She is still up and walking around though. She’s in home hospice care now.

One of the best things about Becky was how she was always there to give me a comforting word or piece of advice that was actually useful. Lots of people try to give advice, few people know how to give useful advice, Becky’s advice was always useful.

This was another bad week for my family for reasons I don’t want to share right now. I looked to my mom for comfort but that’s not her gift when she’s worried. I tried another older friend but her idea of comfort is advice, not the good kind. I was thinking Becky would know what to say and do but I was sad because she hasn’t remembered me all year.

Yesterday when we went to see her, her husband told me to share something from school, so I said, “Becky, we made your ice cream this week at school.” She looked up at me mumbled something that I didn’t understand but then she reached out her arms to me and grabbed me to hug me and we just stood there giving each other the longest hug ever. I was so grateful.

Then she walked me over to her couch and we sat down next to each other and she patted my hand and I hers. I talked mostly about school, names of other teachers she might recognize, labs we had been working on in class. We sat next to each other quietly while I patted her back. She talked to me about things in her usual Becky way, I could still see and hear in her voice my friend. After awhile she looked at me and clearly asked for the time. I told her, “5 PM” and just like that she got up and said she had to go….and she started walking around her home again…

Her husband Jaxson moved over to the couch where we were and eventually Becky wandered back over and sat next to him. She kissed his leg and snuggled close while he held her. I watched and realized God was giving me a glimpse of heavenly love in my friends. She fell asleep in his arms and our visit ended so she could get some rest and her husband could hold his wife. We let ourselves out and I could only be grateful for the continued gift that is my friend, Becky.

So today I’m thankful that on a day I needed love and support, my friend was there for me, even without words and even in her illness and even when she has no idea what’s been going on in my life. She still showed her love for me in a way we both understood. Her life continues to have purpose and meaning and she continues to bless others even in this illness. I will remember her hug always and I hope it’s not our last.

For my friend Becky…I Give thanks!

We ran a 2 mile race yesterday, Dala Horse Trot, it was fun and the pancakes were great as usual…

Swedish pancakes
Great little town…

Half Moon Bay and Devils Slide …

Our daughter had a track meet this Saturday at San Francisco State.

We could have driven up this morning and then back after her race but we decided to drive up after dropping her off with her team.

We were trying to get to the Stations of the Cross at a church on Half Moon Bay called Our Lady of Pillar. We made it but there must have been some confusion with their bulletins because they were still in the middle of the Good Friday liturgy services when we got there. I hate walking into church late so instead we walked around the little church and looked at their Our Lady of Guadalupe Shrine, really pretty. We did join in on the tail end of the solemn prayers and then we continued our drive to see if we could find the beach.

We found a lot of trails but a trail to the beach that didn’t require scrambling down an embankment wasn’t one of the things we found. We tried but there was no obvious way down to the beautiful sandy beach that I could realistically climb so we enjoyed the views from the bluff. There’s a little town we drove through that we’ll have to come back and walk around there later on the year. Then it was off to Devils Slide…

Devils Slide it turns out is a 1.3 mile trail on the old Highway 1. There are a lot of signs warning about falling rock from the cliffs above and to stay away from the edge. There’s actually a fence to keep people away but you know there’s always that one person who thinks they are immune to death. The walk was nice, the views were worth it and the highlight was getting to see some peregrine falcons in flight. They swooped and soared and swooped again. Amazing to watch.

Then it was off to Pacifica. We didn’t do much walking here. We stopped for dinner at Nicks. It’s a casual place right on the water and we saw a beautiful sunset and had a wonderful meal.

Headed to our hotel after dinner and this morning we drove out to Fort Funston. We did a two mile walk here and in addition to beautiful ocean views we got to see a little history. Fort Funston is where they had battle guns and artillery placed to help protect the coast in the event of an attack. We walked through Battery Davis and saw some other old concrete remnants, some of them toppled onto the beach.

Then is was off to the meet to watch our girl run her way to a PR.

So today for amazing ocean views, a wonderful dinner with my husband and the opportunity to cheer our girl onto another PR…I give thanks!

Our Lady of Guadalupe at the church
One of the beaches around Half Moon Bay
One of the views at Devils Slide…
Sunset view from Nicks in Pacifica
View of the beach from Fort Funston…
Battery Davis where they kept the gun…
Our Lady of Pillar in Half Moon Bay..
Cox Stadium…

Veggie pizza

Today is a Friday during Lent, so we don’t eat meat.

I was thinking on dinner and decided to order a veggie pizza from our favorite Italian restaurant in our town. It was so good.

We got home early enough for me to get my weight workout done that I didn’t do earlier today. I didn’t do it because I was up all night crying about my friend. I decided my friend wouldn’t want me to use her as an excuse not to do something that is good for me so I got it done.

Water. I forget sometimes how good an ice cold water tastes, seriously, it’s so good. It’s been hot this week so I am thankful for ice cold water.

So today for veggie pizza, workouts, and ice cold water…I give thanks!

Plan is to run tomorrow! KOR!

My friend

My friend is dying. She has Alzheimer’s and just got put into hospice.

My heart hurts today.

I went to visit her and I couldn’t think of anything else to do except read the Bible, so I read Genesis and started the Gospel of Luke.

I’m so grateful for all the years she was my friend and one day I’ll write all about her but not today.

Today I’m just sad.

For my friend…I Give thanks…

Asilomar

Seems I always end up back at this beach. On cloudy days when the sea reflects back the gray of the sky. On bright beautiful sunny days, where the sea is a stunningly gorgeous shade of all the blues. On happy days and sad days…this beach has been a part of my life for over 30 years…

When we were dating we came to Monterey on a date and I loved it and never wanted to leave. We have probably spent more time in this place than any other place we’ve ever been. We’ve run miles and miles here getting ready for a marathon or running the local half. We’ve read the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings at least twice through, not to mention the Harry Potter series, while hanging out on this beach. We’ve chased sunsets and sunrises, tossed our frisbee back and forth, flown our kite, been attacked by hungry seagulls…

We grieved the loss of our first baby, Lauren Rose, here at this beach. We sat on “our” bench, on her birthday, and we read letters to each other we each had written, as the sea did its thing.

We’ve stood at the edge of this beach looking out across the sea wondering when we would meet our new baby girl, who we had been praying for, for years. We would meet her almost four years after our Lauren Rose went to heaven.

We drove here the day my Dad died and I stared out at the sunset, begging God to reveal himself to me. My Dad died alone during Covid, my mom and brother only allowed to be with him in his last final breaths. My heart was broken. I loved my Dad. The thought of him alone without his family for nearly seven days still haunts me. We came back often to watch the sunset after he died. Something about that beach has always brought me comfort.

A few years after my Dad passed away someone shot our sweet dog, Obi. We came back to this beach where I would gather the driftwood he loved to chew on. I was so sad not to be able to take home a stick for him. He wasn’t home anymore.

We found ourselves back here after our sweet Emily passed, and my Uncle and my Aunt Alice, Great-Gramdma, our friend Hector too many losses lately…

They buried my friend Anne this past Tuesday and today I found myself back at this beach. I told my husband, “this place holds a lot of my tears, an ocean of tears” as we walked along it hand in hand.

I watched the light reflect off the water in a way only God can make happen and was reminded, He is still with me, even in the sadness of another loss, even while thinking about losses to come, including the day I will no longer be able to come to “our” beach. There’s always a last time for everything, right?

My heart is heavy right now, even as life continues on with school and college track meets for our daughter, who I love to watch do her thing.

Funny how we carry joy and grief side by side at times. While I rejoice in my daughter and her achievements on and off the track I grieve for my lost friends. I’m concerned for my sister’s continued poor health. I worry about my Mom. My husband’s Mom is having some serious health issues right now also. I wonder what will come and if I’ll be able to weather the storms.

The drive to “our” beach was breathtaking today. Multiple shades of greens in the hills. As we drive home tonight the sunset has colored the water in the reservoir a shade of pink I’ve never seen before, it’s amazing. God is amazing.

We’ve got some things going on right now that are uncertain and I don’t much like it, but I’m thankful for days like today, where we can escape even if it’s just for a few hours, into God’s creation before we go back to the business of living the life we were gifted.

So today for Asilomar, the Bobcat Trail in Andrew Molera State Park that we ended up on, almost by accident, and heavenly sunsets…I give thanks!

Nothing to report on the running front, still running, not a lot of miles but we are lifting a lot of weights, which will hopefully help with our running…KOR…

“Our” beach
View from the Bobcat Trail, that’s the Big Sur River…
Heavenly Sunsets…
Light bouncing off the water at Asilomar …

More Rainy Days

It’s raining today…quite steady right now actually. I’m waiting for my husband to get off work and our daughter to finish up with her lab so we can all head home. The 99 can be a wicked drive in the rain and I want our daughter to have a little more practice driving around just in town before she tackles that drive. I’m at my favorite little cafe staring out the window watching the rain fall in sheets from a broken gutter onto the outside patio furniture. There’s a little older couple who is looking over at me now and again, can’t tell if they think I’m transcribing their conversation or just looking out the window behind me. It doesn’t really matter.

We were back to school today after a long three day weekend. We have two three day weekends in February back to back, Lincoln’s birthday and Presidents Day. Our daughter’s old elementary school only got one of the two Mondays off so my husband and I used to use whichever Monday she didn’t get off as a fun date day, usually a hike up at the lake where I spent a lot of time as a kid. She gets both Mondays off these days, mostly because she’s in college now and doesn’t have class on Mondays. It didn’t matter this year though because, it’s raining, so we couldn’t go on our hike yesterday, which was a bummer. The Monday before we also had off and the weather was also not great but we were able to go for a run and see a sweet movie called Solo Mio.

It’s been a strange year so far. Many people to pray for who are having health struggles. My sister and other family and friends. I try to be grateful to wake up every morning able to move and take care of myself. I’m still trying to lose some weight to help my A1C and overall health. It would be nice to spend my 50’s active and healthy as I head into the second half of them in about half a year. I’m thankful to be able to pray for my friends and family to a God who is always listening, even when I might not think He hears. Feelings aren’t always a great thing to go by, they have a tendency to ebb and flow, we must trust in God’s word always and Jesus promised us that we are never alone, even on days when that’s exactly how we feel. Alone, concerned about the future, the state of a world where old women are kidnapped from their homes, or teens looking for an easy way to steal someone else’s belongings all die in a horrific car wreck and then there’s wars and the general state of the world. My hope remains in Jesus even when the plan remains elusive.

In addition to a three day weekend, Valentine’s Day was Saturday. I am thankful we got to spend time with the kids so their parents could have a Valentine date. We watched K-Pop Demon Hunters! Lol, it was an interesting movie and we talked about things that were good messages and things that were just weird. In general, the idea of “the accuser” and having to guard your mind from negative thoughts was a good idea. We all seem to struggle with negative, self-defeating thoughts somedays and sometimes those thoughts win and people we love end up places we would never want them to be. Some days we are able to win, push the thoughts away and continue our day. Thank goodness for those days.

On Valentine’s Day we picked up my mom and after our daughter’s practice we headed over to a little beach town called Cayucos. The beach isn’t very big, and neither is the town but they have some cute antique shops and at least two places we like to eat, Duckies and now Schooners. I think my Mom had a nice time and so did my daughter and man it was a beautiful drive!

Sunday we finally had our own Valentine Date, but I picked a bad movie, Crime 101, the plot was crazy, didn’t really make any sense but we stayed through the whole movie. It was nice to have a Valentine Date and for the 32nd year in a row my See’s candy heart made a return. This year it had chocolates, some years it has other gifts but this year mostly chocolate and I also got some flowers and cards 🙂 I have the best Valentine. We went running in the morning and the sky was so pretty, a really nice pink, purple, orange color. I love a colored sky.

Tomorrow is the beginning of Lent. Some years I look forward to Lent, other years, like this year, I wonder why it’s a thing. I’m probably not supposed to write that out loud. It’s not that I don’t think the purpose of Lent is a good one. I do. It’s just that our particular church changes things to Latin and reduces the amount of instruments that can be played and wants the Psalms sung a certain way and they just try to make Sunday’s a lot more somber than it should be. Jesus wasn’t even Roman and He didn’t teach in Latin! Jesus was Jewish and spoke and taught in Aramaic, so the argument that it’s the language of Jesus isn’t valid. Sundays, in my opinion, should always be a joyful day. We commemorate the great sacrifice of Jesus on the cross and hopefully we leave Mass with a renewed sense of gratefulness and thankfulness for the gift of Jesus. Jesus took on all sin on the cross, not some sin, not most sin, all sin. Jesus died so we could enter heaven, including the thief who was crucified with him. A time of contemplating to remember this gift, a time of sacrifice to acknowledge the suffering and our redemption is good and useful but Sundays are special so I don’t totally understand the reasoning behind it all, but maybe it’s one of those things that I don’t totally need to understand. Maybe I should just follow the shepherds God has given us. Our Oblates of St. Joseph are good and holy men who love God’s people, maybe there’s something there that I don’t see?

Well I guess that’s it for now. No running news, trying out some once a week intervals, which are actually kinda hard, not as many miles lately because the weather has not been cooperating. Doing more weightlifting, following a Bill Philips 5X5 plan. We have a treadmill and it’s a new one, but so far I don’t much care for it, might try walking on it tonight if this rain doesn’t calm down, after my weight workout.

So today for pink Valentine skies, time spent with people we love, the gifts of sacrifice, clergy who care enough to try to help us contemplate that sacrifice(even if I don’t like Latin), beautiful skies, days off, and a little time to sit and think in a favorite cafe…I give thanks!

KOR-not sure when we’ll be able to sign up for another race, lots of track meets coming up but hopefully we’ll be able to up our mileage as the weather improves and get a little faster. A plan is in the works!

The Pink Valentine Sky
Amazing views…
Green hills and beautiful sky on our drive to the coast…
My 32 year old Valentine…

Family

Today I’m thankful for the opportunity to meet up with my family after church on Sundays. Sometimes at our house, sometimes at my brother’s house, once in a great while at my Mom’s house. It’s nice to have some lunch together and play with the kiddos and catch up after the week. So today, I’m thankful for time with family.

Short and sweet today, trying to get back to a little writing, but not in the greatest mood today.

For family…I give thanks!

KOR

No running updates, but I have been trying to lift weights more and did an interval run last week that I was surprised went ok. LOL…