Seems I always end up back at this beach. On cloudy days when the sea reflects back the gray of the sky. On bright beautiful sunny days, where the sea is a stunningly gorgeous shade of all the blues. On happy days and sad days…this beach has been a part of my life for over 30 years…

When we were dating we came to Monterey on a date and I loved it and never wanted to leave. We have probably spent more time in this place than any other place we’ve ever been. We’ve run miles and miles here getting ready for a marathon or running the local half. We’ve read the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings at least twice through, not to mention the Harry Potter series, while hanging out on this beach. We’ve chased sunsets and sunrises, tossed our frisbee back and forth, flown our kite, been attacked by hungry seagulls…

We grieved the loss of our first baby, Lauren Rose, here at this beach. We sat on “our” bench, on her birthday, and we read letters to each other we each had written, as the sea did its thing.

We’ve stood at the edge of this beach looking out across the sea wondering when we would meet our new baby girl, who we had been praying for, for years. We would meet her almost four years after our Lauren Rose went to heaven.

We drove here the day my Dad died and I stared out at the sunset, begging God to reveal himself to me. My Dad died alone during Covid, my mom and brother only allowed to be with him in his last final breaths. My heart was broken. I loved my Dad. The thought of him alone without his family for nearly seven days still haunts me. We came back often to watch the sunset after he died. Something about that beach has always brought me comfort.

A few years after my Dad passed away someone shot our sweet dog, Obi. We came back to this beach where I would gather the driftwood he loved to chew on. I was so sad not to be able to take home a stick for him. He wasn’t home anymore.

We found ourselves back here after our sweet Emily passed, and my Uncle and my Aunt Alice, Great-Gramdma, our friend Hector too many losses lately…

They buried my friend Anne this past Tuesday and today I found myself back at this beach. I told my husband, “this place holds a lot of my tears, an ocean of tears” as we walked along it hand in hand.

I watched the light reflect off the water in a way only God can make happen and was reminded, He is still with me, even in the sadness of another loss, even while thinking about losses to come, including the day I will no longer be able to come to “our” beach. There’s always a last time for everything, right?

My heart is heavy right now, even as life continues on with school and college track meets for our daughter, who I love to watch do her thing.

Funny how we carry joy and grief side by side at times. While I rejoice in my daughter and her achievements on and off the track I grieve for my lost friends. I’m concerned for my sister’s continued poor health. I worry about my Mom. My husband’s Mom is having some serious health issues right now also. I wonder what will come and if I’ll be able to weather the storms.

The drive to “our” beach was breathtaking today. Multiple shades of greens in the hills. As we drive home tonight the sunset has colored the water in the reservoir a shade of pink I’ve never seen before, it’s amazing. God is amazing.

We’ve got some things going on right now that are uncertain and I don’t much like it, but I’m thankful for days like today, where we can escape even if it’s just for a few hours, into God’s creation before we go back to the business of living the life we were gifted.

So today for Asilomar, the Bobcat Trail in Andrew Molera State Park that we ended up on, almost by accident, and heavenly sunsets…I give thanks!

Nothing to report on the running front, still running, not a lot of miles but we are lifting a lot of weights, which will hopefully help with our running…KOR…