Our daughter had a track meet this Saturday at San Francisco State.
We could have driven up this morning and then back after her race but we decided to drive up after dropping her off with her team.
We were trying to get to the Stations of the Cross at a church on Half Moon Bay called Our Lady of Pillar. We made it but there must have been some confusion with their bulletins because they were still in the middle of the Good Friday liturgy services when we got there. I hate walking into church late so instead we walked around the little church and looked at their Our Lady of Guadalupe Shrine, really pretty. We did join in on the tail end of the solemn prayers and then we continued our drive to see if we could find the beach.
We found a lot of trails but a trail to the beach that didn’t require scrambling down an embankment wasn’t one of the things we found. We tried but there was no obvious way down to the beautiful sandy beach that I could realistically climb so we enjoyed the views from the bluff. There’s a little town we drove through that we’ll have to come back and walk around there later on the year. Then it was off to Devils Slide…
Devils Slide it turns out is a 1.3 mile trail on the old Highway 1. There are a lot of signs warning about falling rock from the cliffs above and to stay away from the edge. There’s actually a fence to keep people away but you know there’s always that one person who thinks they are immune to death. The walk was nice, the views were worth it and the highlight was getting to see some peregrine falcons in flight. They swooped and soared and swooped again. Amazing to watch.
Then it was off to Pacifica. We didn’t do much walking here. We stopped for dinner at Nicks. It’s a casual place right on the water and we saw a beautiful sunset and had a wonderful meal.
Headed to our hotel after dinner and this morning we drove out to Fort Funston. We did a two mile walk here and in addition to beautiful ocean views we got to see a little history. Fort Funston is where they had battle guns and artillery placed to help protect the coast in the event of an attack. We walked through Battery Davis and saw some other old concrete remnants, some of them toppled onto the beach.
Then is was off to the meet to watch our girl run her way to a PR.
So today for amazing ocean views, a wonderful dinner with my husband and the opportunity to cheer our girl onto another PR…I give thanks!
Our Lady of Guadalupe at the churchOne of the beaches around Half Moon BayOne of the views at Devils Slide…Sunset view from Nicks in Pacifica View of the beach from Fort Funston…Battery Davis where they kept the gun…Our Lady of Pillar in Half Moon Bay..Cox Stadium…
Seems to me at some point during Holy Week there’s a gray day…
This is the holiest of weeks in the church calendar. The week when we commemorate the great sacrifice of Christ our King. It’s meant to be a week of reflection on that sacrifice and the gift of grace and mercy received as a result of the gift Jesus gave us on Easter Sunday.
Funny Christmas is known for presents but the real gift was given to us at Easter.
Things aren’t great right now. My sister is now on dialysis, facing an uncertain future. My niece is battling fears and sadness of her own, complete with taking her frustrations out on whoever is near. Yesterday, that was me. While I can’t say I enjoyed getting screamed at by my niece, a litany of untrue and mean things, things you don’t really say to an Aunt who has loved you since you were born. I can be thankful for the compassion God gave me in that moment. The ability to see it for what it was, the anguished cries of a scared teenager who was missing her Mama. I can be thankful that God gave me His eyes to see for just long enough that my heart wasn’t hardened. I can be thankful that in those moments as she ranted and raved about nonsensical things He reminded me Sunday is Easter, and in the grand scheme of life, it’s the only thing that matters.
Because of Easter one day, maybe not here, but one day there will be joy unutterable and these things won’t matter.
I love Easter and I love Holy Week, the sacred Triduum and everything that leads up to celebrating the greatest gift ever given, New Life through Jesus.
Today is a gray day but as they say Sunday is coming …
Praised be Jesus Christ…
Now and Forever
Today…for the only thing that matters…Jesus…I Give Thanks!
Early Morning sunrises…Watching my girl run FAST…Overlook at Redinger Lake…
Today is a Friday during Lent, so we don’t eat meat.
I was thinking on dinner and decided to order a veggie pizza from our favorite Italian restaurant in our town. It was so good.
We got home early enough for me to get my weight workout done that I didn’t do earlier today. I didn’t do it because I was up all night crying about my friend. I decided my friend wouldn’t want me to use her as an excuse not to do something that is good for me so I got it done.
Water. I forget sometimes how good an ice cold water tastes, seriously, it’s so good. It’s been hot this week so I am thankful for ice cold water.
So today for veggie pizza, workouts, and ice cold water…I give thanks!
Seems I always end up back at this beach. On cloudy days when the sea reflects back the gray of the sky. On bright beautiful sunny days, where the sea is a stunningly gorgeous shade of all the blues. On happy days and sad days…this beach has been a part of my life for over 30 years…
When we were dating we came to Monterey on a date and I loved it and never wanted to leave. We have probably spent more time in this place than any other place we’ve ever been. We’ve run miles and miles here getting ready for a marathon or running the local half. We’ve read the Hobbit and Lord of the Rings at least twice through, not to mention the Harry Potter series, while hanging out on this beach. We’ve chased sunsets and sunrises, tossed our frisbee back and forth, flown our kite, been attacked by hungry seagulls…
We grieved the loss of our first baby, Lauren Rose, here at this beach. We sat on “our” bench, on her birthday, and we read letters to each other we each had written, as the sea did its thing.
We’ve stood at the edge of this beach looking out across the sea wondering when we would meet our new baby girl, who we had been praying for, for years. We would meet her almost four years after our Lauren Rose went to heaven.
We drove here the day my Dad died and I stared out at the sunset, begging God to reveal himself to me. My Dad died alone during Covid, my mom and brother only allowed to be with him in his last final breaths. My heart was broken. I loved my Dad. The thought of him alone without his family for nearly seven days still haunts me. We came back often to watch the sunset after he died. Something about that beach has always brought me comfort.
A few years after my Dad passed away someone shot our sweet dog, Obi. We came back to this beach where I would gather the driftwood he loved to chew on. I was so sad not to be able to take home a stick for him. He wasn’t home anymore.
We found ourselves back here after our sweet Emily passed, and my Uncle and my Aunt Alice, Great-Gramdma, our friend Hector too many losses lately…
They buried my friend Anne this past Tuesday and today I found myself back at this beach. I told my husband, “this place holds a lot of my tears, an ocean of tears” as we walked along it hand in hand.
I watched the light reflect off the water in a way only God can make happen and was reminded, He is still with me, even in the sadness of another loss, even while thinking about losses to come, including the day I will no longer be able to come to “our” beach. There’s always a last time for everything, right?
My heart is heavy right now, even as life continues on with school and college track meets for our daughter, who I love to watch do her thing.
Funny how we carry joy and grief side by side at times. While I rejoice in my daughter and her achievements on and off the track I grieve for my lost friends. I’m concerned for my sister’s continued poor health. I worry about my Mom. My husband’s Mom is having some serious health issues right now also. I wonder what will come and if I’ll be able to weather the storms.
The drive to “our” beach was breathtaking today. Multiple shades of greens in the hills. As we drive home tonight the sunset has colored the water in the reservoir a shade of pink I’ve never seen before, it’s amazing. God is amazing.
We’ve got some things going on right now that are uncertain and I don’t much like it, but I’m thankful for days like today, where we can escape even if it’s just for a few hours, into God’s creation before we go back to the business of living the life we were gifted.
So today for Asilomar, the Bobcat Trail in Andrew Molera State Park that we ended up on, almost by accident, and heavenly sunsets…I give thanks!
Nothing to report on the running front, still running, not a lot of miles but we are lifting a lot of weights, which will hopefully help with our running…KOR…
“Our” beach View from the Bobcat Trail, that’s the Big Sur River…Heavenly Sunsets…Light bouncing off the water at Asilomar …
It’s raining today…quite steady right now actually. I’m waiting for my husband to get off work and our daughter to finish up with her lab so we can all head home. The 99 can be a wicked drive in the rain and I want our daughter to have a little more practice driving around just in town before she tackles that drive. I’m at my favorite little cafe staring out the window watching the rain fall in sheets from a broken gutter onto the outside patio furniture. There’s a little older couple who is looking over at me now and again, can’t tell if they think I’m transcribing their conversation or just looking out the window behind me. It doesn’t really matter.
We were back to school today after a long three day weekend. We have two three day weekends in February back to back, Lincoln’s birthday and Presidents Day. Our daughter’s old elementary school only got one of the two Mondays off so my husband and I used to use whichever Monday she didn’t get off as a fun date day, usually a hike up at the lake where I spent a lot of time as a kid. She gets both Mondays off these days, mostly because she’s in college now and doesn’t have class on Mondays. It didn’t matter this year though because, it’s raining, so we couldn’t go on our hike yesterday, which was a bummer. The Monday before we also had off and the weather was also not great but we were able to go for a run and see a sweet movie called Solo Mio.
It’s been a strange year so far. Many people to pray for who are having health struggles. My sister and other family and friends. I try to be grateful to wake up every morning able to move and take care of myself. I’m still trying to lose some weight to help my A1C and overall health. It would be nice to spend my 50’s active and healthy as I head into the second half of them in about half a year. I’m thankful to be able to pray for my friends and family to a God who is always listening, even when I might not think He hears. Feelings aren’t always a great thing to go by, they have a tendency to ebb and flow, we must trust in God’s word always and Jesus promised us that we are never alone, even on days when that’s exactly how we feel. Alone, concerned about the future, the state of a world where old women are kidnapped from their homes, or teens looking for an easy way to steal someone else’s belongings all die in a horrific car wreck and then there’s wars and the general state of the world. My hope remains in Jesus even when the plan remains elusive.
In addition to a three day weekend, Valentine’s Day was Saturday. I am thankful we got to spend time with the kids so their parents could have a Valentine date. We watched K-Pop Demon Hunters! Lol, it was an interesting movie and we talked about things that were good messages and things that were just weird. In general, the idea of “the accuser” and having to guard your mind from negative thoughts was a good idea. We all seem to struggle with negative, self-defeating thoughts somedays and sometimes those thoughts win and people we love end up places we would never want them to be. Some days we are able to win, push the thoughts away and continue our day. Thank goodness for those days.
On Valentine’s Day we picked up my mom and after our daughter’s practice we headed over to a little beach town called Cayucos. The beach isn’t very big, and neither is the town but they have some cute antique shops and at least two places we like to eat, Duckies and now Schooners. I think my Mom had a nice time and so did my daughter and man it was a beautiful drive!
Sunday we finally had our own Valentine Date, but I picked a bad movie, Crime 101, the plot was crazy, didn’t really make any sense but we stayed through the whole movie. It was nice to have a Valentine Date and for the 32nd year in a row my See’s candy heart made a return. This year it had chocolates, some years it has other gifts but this year mostly chocolate and I also got some flowers and cards 🙂 I have the best Valentine. We went running in the morning and the sky was so pretty, a really nice pink, purple, orange color. I love a colored sky.
Tomorrow is the beginning of Lent. Some years I look forward to Lent, other years, like this year, I wonder why it’s a thing. I’m probably not supposed to write that out loud. It’s not that I don’t think the purpose of Lent is a good one. I do. It’s just that our particular church changes things to Latin and reduces the amount of instruments that can be played and wants the Psalms sung a certain way and they just try to make Sunday’s a lot more somber than it should be. Jesus wasn’t even Roman and He didn’t teach in Latin! Jesus was Jewish and spoke and taught in Aramaic, so the argument that it’s the language of Jesus isn’t valid. Sundays, in my opinion, should always be a joyful day. We commemorate the great sacrifice of Jesus on the cross and hopefully we leave Mass with a renewed sense of gratefulness and thankfulness for the gift of Jesus. Jesus took on all sin on the cross, not some sin, not most sin, all sin. Jesus died so we could enter heaven, including the thief who was crucified with him. A time of contemplating to remember this gift, a time of sacrifice to acknowledge the suffering and our redemption is good and useful but Sundays are special so I don’t totally understand the reasoning behind it all, but maybe it’s one of those things that I don’t totally need to understand. Maybe I should just follow the shepherds God has given us. Our Oblates of St. Joseph are good and holy men who love God’s people, maybe there’s something there that I don’t see?
Well I guess that’s it for now. No running news, trying out some once a week intervals, which are actually kinda hard, not as many miles lately because the weather has not been cooperating. Doing more weightlifting, following a Bill Philips 5X5 plan. We have a treadmill and it’s a new one, but so far I don’t much care for it, might try walking on it tonight if this rain doesn’t calm down, after my weight workout.
So today for pink Valentine skies, time spent with people we love, the gifts of sacrifice, clergy who care enough to try to help us contemplate that sacrifice(even if I don’t like Latin), beautiful skies, days off, and a little time to sit and think in a favorite cafe…I give thanks!
KOR-not sure when we’ll be able to sign up for another race, lots of track meets coming up but hopefully we’ll be able to up our mileage as the weather improves and get a little faster. A plan is in the works!
The Pink Valentine SkyAmazing views…Green hills and beautiful sky on our drive to the coast…My 32 year old Valentine…
Not thankful for screaming kids…should I say that? Makes me sound like a curmudgeon….opinion, some people let their kids whine too long before they correct them…home, one thing, out and about in public is a totally different thing…sigh…ok, probably unpopular opinion over…
Haven’t written here in awhile but November seems an appropriate time to offer some thanks…
Yesterday was Veterans Day. We were able to take my Mom up to Casa De Fruta and have lunch at Casa De Restaurant. My Dad used to like going there to eat lunch or walk around. He’s not with us on Earth anymore but it was nice to take my mom and I think she enjoyed the drive.
Kids who aren’t whiny. I have a few sweet students at school who routinely ask how I am and inquire about my sister. I’m thankful for kind kids.
My run this morning. We are definitely so much slower but I’m thankful to be able to wake up and go outside and run in the cool crisp air, even if now or days it’s a run/walk and even if it’s 5AM, yes AM.
My sister has been back to hospital in the last couple of weeks. Not good news for her kidneys and while I remain concerned I’m also thankful for good doctors and health care people. I pray everyday my sister is surrounded by people who can help her make good decisions.
Not sleeping a lot the last few weeks. I fall asleep and then wake up, all the worst ideas of what happens if my sister loses all her kidney function. I’m thankful that my Mom taught me the Our Father when I was a little girl and the Hail Mary. I’m thankful for the sisters at St. Joachim who taught me the other prayers that make up our rosary. I’m thankful for Bishop Barron who’s recorded the rosary on You Tube. I can put it on when I wake up in the wee hours and pray myself back to sleep. The Luminous Mysteries are my favorite.
Lastly I’m thankful it’s almost time to head home. It’s been a long day.
For all these things…I Give Thanks!
Ran the Two Cities 5K, did better than we thought….KOR…next run our local Turkey Trot!
I don’t usually drink coffee. I should say I really never drink coffee, but lately I have been drinking a coffee now and again.
It started a few months ago, I got sick and wanted something warm but I didn’t want tea. My husband drinks coffee, a lot of coffee, everyday. Black. He drinks his coffee black! I’m not sure why a human would do this but I’m guessing the reason is like those of us that drink unsweetened iced black tea.
Saturday morning I had a sugar-free iced vanilla coffee from McDonalds. McDonald’s sugar free iced vanilla coffee is hit and miss, mostly miss, but every once in awhile when I’m wanting a coffee and I order one there it turns out ok. Right now as I type this I’m having a cappuccino with almond milk. I like those two coffees and that’s about it.
I have a headache, the last two or three days when it gets to afternoon I’ve been getting a headache. I think I need to be drinking water but I don’t fancy water right now, not sure why, probably because it’s cold. I don’t want tea and I don’t want any sugary drinks so that leaves coffee.
On occasion, I’ve actually tried to become a coffee drinker. The problem is, I really just don’t like coffee! It’s bitter and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, and I just really don’t like it, except for this cappuccino I’m currently drinking or a sugar-free iced vanilla coffee from McDonald’s now and again.
I woke up with my right eye really red in one corner yesterday morning. I thought it would go away if I slept well last night. I slept, not well, and it’s still there.
We mostly had a fun weekend. Our daughter got a PR in her 400m event at a track meet. She’s been trying to break 60s in the 400m for a few years now, and she’s very close. I love to watch her set and achieve her goals. Her 4X400m team broke the school record, which was cool to watch. They came in 2nd to last, but we cared about the time for the school record; no one expected them to win the relay. They did what they needed to do, each girl giving their all and finally a school record.
Last year, in the final race of our daughter’s season, in the final 100m of the 4X400m, she was tripped by a girl she passed. It was a hard fall, but she got up and finished her race. The next day, we found out she was injured with a pelvic bruise and a ligament in her hand was hurt, she had bruises on her stomach and the sadness of a bad end to her Junior track season, robbed of a medal and a school record. No apology or check-in was ever offered to her from her opponent or the coach of the other team, which just isn’t really a kind thing, even if the other team was disqualified. It took her weeks to recover and her hand still isn’t quite right. Our daughter doesn’t understand unkind people and neither do we.
At Saturday’s track meet, the girl who tripped her was in the lane next to her in her 200m, it was nice to see her overcome her fear of facing that particular opponent again. It was fun to watch her win her flight. We wonder if she realizes how resilient she’s become, facing challenges and overcoming them to achieve her goals. She is a marvel to me. I wish she saw herself like we see her. I wonder how much better we would all do if we could see ourselves how God sees us.
Before she was going to run her 400m, she called me, distraught. I could hear the tears in her voice. She had called a teammate to let her know it was the last call before her race, the 1600. Our daughter is the team captain, and another team member had asked her to call their teammate, so she did. They didn’t want her to be late. The teammate got worried that she would miss her race, panicked, told our daughter to call her mom, and hung up. According to our daughter, the Mom side-eyed her, telling her that maybe she shouldn’t have called her daughter. Our daughter called me because she was really sad that she had done something wrong. She went from being excited and hopeful for the day to crushed in spirit, all because she interpreted something an adult said to her as a reprimand for doing something wrong. I assured her she did nothing wrong and that her intent was not to hurt her teammate but to help her teammate. We walked back to the tent, hoping to find the mom and let her know the intention was to help, but we couldn’t find her, truthfully I wanted the mother to reassure our daughter she had done nothing wrong, but there was no real guarantee that’s what would happen, people are strange.
She was doing everything she could to keep from crying, her eyes watery and red. I kept reassuring her she did nothing wrong, that she needed to reset and move forward. (This word which I wrote about earlier has really been heaven sent, it’s my word for the year.) With the help of a sweet friend, she was able to do that, and 40 minutes later, she ran a PR in her 400m and set a school record. It’s not always been easy for our girl to redirect her negative thoughts, and more than setting a school record or getting a PR, we were really proud she was able to change the channel and ended up having a great day at the track.
When we got home, even after all the great stuff and a dinner celebration with another sweet friend, she was still worried about that mom. I guess changing the channel in our brains is an ongoing process, with our mind cycling back to the preset even when we don’t want it to do that. We need a way to change the presets. Some people are really good at that, and others need practice. She’s working on that, and it’s hard work.
In fact, at the meet, she kept telling me she was trying and that it was hard, and I said it is hard, but Jesus told us not to fear, and I reminded her about Romans 12:2 where St. Paul said “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”. In Philippians 4:8 St. Paul says “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” and in 2Chorinthians 10:5 St. Paul says, “We destroy arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ”. Jesus talked about self-control and discipline, with prayer, practice and trust in Jesus, we can change the presets in our minds. It’s hard work but with and through Jesus it’s possible. Jesus wills our good because He loves us, so much that He gave his life for us, something we focus on during this holy season of Lent.
So today for coffee, resets, fast runs, P.R’s and school records…I give thanks!
Well, we got sick for two weeks so our long run is back down to 3 miles currently but my weight lifting routine is intact and we are signing up for the Mother’s Day run, so looking forward to that! KOR…
This word is everywhere, even in my favorite magazines…The track at Yosemite High School…
A few years ago, probably more than a few years, but, it feels like a few years, I started picking a word for the year. I read about it in some article, I don’t even remember where or who the article was written by, or maybe I saw it on an early morning television show? I guess it doesn’t matter.
Earlier this year I was talking to my husband, and I was asking him if he picked a word, sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t. One year, he picked kiss for his word. I asked him why, he said, “because I don’t kiss you enough”, which I thought was sweet. He’s sweet like that. Nothing struck him because he hasn’t mentioned a word to me. Nothing struck me either because it’s almost March and I still did not have a word but over the last couple of weeks a word keeps popping up over and over, or maybe it’s just a frame of mind?
It’s not like it was bothering me that I didn’t have a word. It seems sometimes, a thought percolates in the back of your mind and just keeps percolating until something pops up.
Over the last few weeks, the word/idea of forward keeps popping up, in likely places, like church, in unlikely places, like a random conversation with a random person. I think Jesus talked to us a lot about living in the present and moving forward with faith. I think He talked about those things because He knew it was human nature to look ahead, look behind and to get stuck. A friend once told me that when you look ahead, you can feel anxious. When you look behind, you can feel sad. When you stay in the present it is harder for those feelings to attack you. I have actually found this to be very true.
You can find passages all over the bible in the Old and New Testaments with this idea of moving forward. In Philippians 3:13-14, it says, “ forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God’s upward calling, in Christ Jesus. In Isaiah 43: 18-19 it says, “Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; See , I am doing something new!” There are many more. I find it interesting that this theme is running throughout the length of the Bible and I find it very comforting.
Today, I had to take my sweet husband to Urgent Care. He woke up clammy and weak, said he was dizzy, and things were spinning. Last time that happened he ended up passing out in the bathroom and I had to call an ambulance, so I called in a substitute and told him I’d drive him over to Urgent Care. I didn’t get a lot of push back, which was unusual, so I knew he was not feeling well. I was worried, we haven’t had much luck this season, it’s been tough. All I could think selfishly was that I needed him to be ok, I needed nothing to be seriously wrong, because through this particular season of loss we have been through, he has been steady and true, comforting and loving and always reminding me that God always takes care of us. He has a steady and sure faith in God, a love for Jesus and I love this about him.
As we get older, I start to worry we have fewer days together in front of us, than behind and since the statistics aren’t on my side, I wonder how I would ever navigate this weary world without him. I hope not to find out anytime soon.
So we have been facing many challenges lately, I think Jesus is telling me to keep a forward mindset this year. To keep this word in front of me. Forward.
“Forward always Forward, God Will Provide”
So today for Jesus who speaks so clearly, for sending me this word, Forward and for my husband…I Give Thanks!
Long run up to 5 miles this past weekend. We want to find a race to run, but my daughter has track meets almost every Saturday in March, so we’ll see. KOR
Running our long run by our River Trail…Visited a new to me beach…lots of room to run, looking forward to staying over for a run!
Yesterday was the Valentine’s concert at my daughter’s school. I guess it’s been around for 10 years, they were celebrating a decade of concerts. They are fun to watch. The kids all sing really well. It’s hard to get up on a stage, in front of family, friends, and peers and perform. I think it’s harder for some kids than others but in the end it’s always a fun thing to enjoy. We’ve enjoyed it for the last 4 years, 3 of them our daughter has gotten to sing in, last night was the last one with our sweet girl, Senior Year, boo and yay, depending on the moment.
It was a nice break, for a few hours from all the sad. Although, there’s always still a bit of sad involved in events like these. I was missing my Dad lots. I couldn’t figure out a way to get my Mom to the earlier performance and get back in time for the late performance, so that was a bummer. My Dad would have been there, of course, he never missed our important events. I also lost a gold hoop earring my Dad and Mom gave me when I was younger, maybe I’ll find it, fingers crossed.
My friend was able to go with her daughter and cheer Laina on. I was grateful she came. She came even though she lost her own Daddy less than a week ago. Friends do that for each other and I am thankful for her kindness and love to my daughter, even in the midst of her own sadness. It’s hard to find people like that these days.
For fun Valentine Concerts and sweet friends… I Give Thanks!
Long run yesterday 4.3…it was a pretty morning, we’ll aim for 5 next week. KOR
I love trees. I love almost all trees. I don’t love my neighbors tree, which spills over into our backyard and deposits its leaves and flowers on our patio every spring, but I don’t hate it either.
I’ve been longing to see some tall trees. Today we had a day off from school so we drove over to Henry Cowell Redwoods State Park. It’s a really beautiful state park with lots of trails, camping and beautiful trees. The sky was blue overhead, the ground was soft and slightly muddy here and there from the rain last week, should have worn my hiking boots. The trail is a short one, it takes you around a little less than a mile into a Redwood forest canopy. Before we knew it we were shivering because it was cold!
We like to read the trail brochure at every stop and we enjoy looking for any creatures that might happen to be around. Today we were looking for the elusive banana slug! Just when we thought we would not see one, there it was laying on a tree stump. Ok, so they aren’t totally pretty but they are California’s State Slug, yes we have a state slug now, the Banana Slug.
So I enjoy a drive when I’m sad and I’ve been sad. Sometimes you just kind of have to power through the days. School doesn’t stop, things your family needs don’t stop, and time has no intention or interest in giving you a breather. Sometimes you just have to force time to your will and say No, I think we’ll take a break and see some trees and the sea, and so we did just that.
I’m still sad but I have many valid reasons to be sad. My daughter had a friend pass away a few weeks ago. Her halted cries and shallow breath while she tried to get the words out to tell me are a vivid memory. I’m grateful to be the person she calls and I was sad that I could not leave where I was, hop in the car and drive to her and hug her and tell her I love her and how so sorry I was for her. Jesus was good to me that day and she was surrounded by many friends and teachers who were His arms for her, until mine also could be.
If that wasn’t enough, her sweet kitty, who she has had since she was 2 passed away. He had been sick but we thought he was making a recovery and he was but it didn’t stick, he relapsed I guess and it was time for him to leave us. Another sadness, each one adding to all the others. I’ve already written about our other losses this fall and winter so I won’t rehash those. Sure do miss that cat though.
Then there’s my poor sister. She’s been struggling health wise for awhile and then in August she started to lose her ability to walk and has gotten progressively worse. The doctors say she needs a surgery, if she doesn’t have it, she will continue to get worse until she is a paraplegic. If she has it, she has a 70% chance of recovery, better than 0, but not a guarantee, but I guess there aren’t many guarantees in life.
Then there’s our sweet friends who decided to move to Georgia, who moves to Georgia? Our friends apparently. Jim has been the choir leader at my church for over 4 decades. I was in his choir when I was a young teen getting ready for confirmation through part of college. I quit when I got married. My Dad continued to sing in the choir for the next 3 decades. He passed away in 2020 and Jim welcomed me back to sing with the choir, it was a lifeline. I could feel close to my Dad by doing something he did every week for decades and it was a familiar and safe environment. When music was first allowed back, during Covid, we had to practice at Jim’s house, like we did when I was younger. Because of Covid we actually would record the songs and they would be played at church, because while we could have singing it couldn’t be live, it was a questionable Covid “rule”, there were many, including the dumb ones that kept us from my Dad as he lie dying alone away from the family who loved him. For the past 4 years, Jim’s choir has helped me heal and feel close to my Dad, so I was sad when he said he was leaving his home and church to move to Georgia. It is a painful loss for me to go from seeing someone who knew my Dad every week to maybe not again for a long while. Not to mention his voice, truly a gift from God. I will miss hearing him sing. He sang at our wedding and our 25th wedding anniversary. He sang at my Uncle Joe’s funeral, my Aunt Alice’s funeral, Bella’s Dad’s funeral, my Dad’s funeral. Happy or sad, Jim was there.
I’m not real sure what’s going on right now. I can’t see the plan through the tears. “The Lord is close to the broken hearted.” I gave my daughter that verse when her friend passed, hold on to it I told her, time to take my own advice and remember I’m not alone.
Deep breathe, “Forward, Always Forward, God will Provide.”
Today for drives, trees and the sea that soothe my weary soul…I Give Thanks…
Long run still at 4 miles…hoping to increase next week and find a 5K to do. KOR
Redwoods…The elusive Banana Slug…The sea…Starbucks…sure do miss you kitty. ❤️
Thankful Runner Girl 