Tag: Jesus

Coffee and Red Eyes…

On By runnergirl02In running, ThankfulnessLeave a comment

I don’t usually drink coffee. I should say I really never drink coffee, but lately I have been drinking a coffee now and again.

It started a few months ago, I got sick and wanted something warm but I didn’t want tea. My husband drinks coffee, a lot of coffee, everyday. Black. He drinks his coffee black! I’m not sure why a human would do this but I’m guessing the reason is like those of us that drink unsweetened iced black tea.

Saturday morning I had a sugar-free iced vanilla coffee from McDonalds. McDonald’s sugar free iced vanilla coffee is hit and miss, mostly miss, but every once in awhile when I’m wanting a coffee and I order one there it turns out ok. Right now as I type this I’m having a cappuccino with almond milk. I like those two coffees and that’s about it.

I have a headache, the last two or three days when it gets to afternoon I’ve been getting a headache. I think I need to be drinking water but I don’t fancy water right now, not sure why, probably because it’s cold. I don’t want tea and I don’t want any sugary drinks so that leaves coffee.

On occasion, I’ve actually tried to become a coffee drinker. The problem is, I really just don’t like coffee! It’s bitter and leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, and I just really don’t like it, except for this cappuccino I’m currently drinking or a sugar-free iced vanilla coffee from McDonald’s now and again.

I woke up with my right eye really red in one corner yesterday morning. I thought it would go away if I slept well last night. I slept, not well, and it’s still there.

We mostly had a fun weekend. Our daughter got a PR in her 400m event at a track meet. She’s been trying to break 60s in the 400m for a few years now, and she’s very close. I love to watch her set and achieve her goals. Her 4X400m team broke the school record, which was cool to watch. They came in 2nd to last, but we cared about the time for the school record; no one expected them to win the relay. They did what they needed to do, each girl giving their all and finally a school record.

Last year, in the final race of our daughter’s season, in the final 100m of the 4X400m, she was tripped by a girl she passed. It was a hard fall, but she got up and finished her race. The next day, we found out she was injured with a pelvic bruise and a ligament in her hand was hurt, she had bruises on her stomach and the sadness of a bad end to her Junior track season, robbed of a medal and a school record. No apology or check-in was ever offered to her from her opponent or the coach of the other team, which just isn’t really a kind thing, even if the other team was disqualified. It took her weeks to recover and her hand still isn’t quite right. Our daughter doesn’t understand unkind people and neither do we.

At Saturday’s track meet, the girl who tripped her was in the lane next to her in her 200m, it was nice to see her overcome her fear of facing that particular opponent again. It was fun to watch her win her flight. We wonder if she realizes how resilient she’s become, facing challenges and overcoming them to achieve her goals. She is a marvel to me. I wish she saw herself like we see her. I wonder how much better we would all do if we could see ourselves how God sees us.

Before she was going to run her 400m, she called me, distraught. I could hear the tears in her voice. She had called a teammate to let her know it was the last call before her race, the 1600. Our daughter is the team captain, and another team member had asked her to call their teammate, so she did. They didn’t want her to be late. The teammate got worried that she would miss her race, panicked, told our daughter to call her mom, and hung up. According to our daughter, the Mom side-eyed her, telling her that maybe she shouldn’t have called her daughter. Our daughter called me because she was really sad that she had done something wrong. She went from being excited and hopeful for the day to crushed in spirit, all because she interpreted something an adult said to her as a reprimand for doing something wrong. I assured her she did nothing wrong and that her intent was not to hurt her teammate but to help her teammate. We walked back to the tent, hoping to find the mom and let her know the intention was to help, but we couldn’t find her, truthfully I wanted the mother to reassure our daughter she had done nothing wrong, but there was no real guarantee that’s what would happen, people are strange.

She was doing everything she could to keep from crying, her eyes watery and red. I kept reassuring her she did nothing wrong, that she needed to reset and move forward. (This word which I wrote about earlier has really been heaven sent, it’s my word for the year.) With the help of a sweet friend, she was able to do that, and 40 minutes later, she ran a PR in her 400m and set a school record. It’s not always been easy for our girl to redirect her negative thoughts, and more than setting a school record or getting a PR, we were really proud she was able to change the channel and ended up having a great day at the track.

When we got home, even after all the great stuff and a dinner celebration with another sweet friend, she was still worried about that mom. I guess changing the channel in our brains is an ongoing process, with our mind cycling back to the preset even when we don’t want it to do that. We need a way to change the presets. Some people are really good at that, and others need practice. She’s working on that, and it’s hard work.

In fact, at the meet, she kept telling me she was trying and that it was hard, and I said it is hard, but Jesus told us not to fear, and I reminded her about Romans 12:2 where St. Paul said “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect”. In Philippians 4:8 St. Paul says “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” and in 2Chorinthians 10:5 St. Paul says, “We destroy arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, taking every thought captive to obey Christ”. Jesus talked about self-control and discipline, with prayer, practice and trust in Jesus, we can change the presets in our minds. It’s hard work but with and through Jesus it’s possible. Jesus wills our good because He loves us, so much that He gave his life for us, something we focus on during this holy season of Lent.

So today for coffee, resets, fast runs, P.R’s and school records…I give thanks!

Well, we got sick for two weeks so our long run is back down to 3 miles currently but my weight lifting routine is intact and we are signing up for the Mother’s Day run, so looking forward to that! KOR…

This word is everywhere, even in my favorite magazines…
The track at Yosemite High School…

Forward

On By runnergirl02In ThankfulnessLeave a comment

A few years ago, probably more than a few years, but, it feels like a few years, I started picking a word for the year.  I read about it in some article, I don’t even remember where or who the article was written by, or maybe I saw it on an early morning television show? I guess it doesn’t matter.

Earlier this year I was talking to my husband, and I was asking him if he picked a word, sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn’t.  One year, he picked kiss for his word.  I asked him why, he said, “because I don’t kiss you enough”, which I thought was sweet.  He’s sweet like that.  Nothing struck him because he hasn’t mentioned a word to me.  Nothing struck me either because it’s almost March and I still did not have a word but over the last couple of weeks a word keeps popping up over and over, or maybe it’s just a frame of mind? 

It’s not like it was bothering me that I didn’t have a word.  It seems sometimes, a thought percolates in the back of your mind and just keeps percolating until something pops up. 

Over the last few weeks, the word/idea of forward keeps popping up, in likely places, like church, in unlikely places, like a random conversation with a random person.  I think Jesus talked to us a lot about living in the present and moving forward with faith.  I think He talked about those things because He knew it was human nature to look ahead, look behind and to get stuck.  A friend once told me that when you look ahead, you can feel anxious. When you look behind, you can feel sad.  When you stay in the present it is harder for those feelings to attack you.  I have actually found this to be very true. 

You can find passages all over the bible in the Old and New Testaments with this idea of moving forward. In Philippians 3:13-14, it says, “ forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God’s upward calling, in Christ Jesus.  In Isaiah 43: 18-19 it says, “Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; See , I am doing something new!” There are many more.  I find it interesting that this theme is running throughout the length of the Bible and I find it very comforting. 

Today, I had to take my sweet husband to Urgent Care. He woke up clammy and weak, said he was dizzy, and things were spinning.  Last time that happened he ended up passing out in the bathroom and I had to call an ambulance, so I called in a substitute and told him I’d drive him over to Urgent Care.  I didn’t get a lot of push back, which was unusual, so I knew he was not feeling well.  I was worried, we haven’t had much luck this season, it’s been tough.  All I could think selfishly was that I needed him to be ok, I needed nothing to be seriously wrong, because through this particular season of loss we have been through, he has been steady and true, comforting and loving and always reminding me that God always takes care of us.  He has a steady and sure faith in God, a love for Jesus and I love this about him. 

As we get older, I start to worry we have fewer days together in front of us, than behind and since the statistics aren’t on my side, I wonder how I would ever navigate this weary world without him.  I hope not to find out anytime soon.                       

So we have been facing many challenges lately, I think Jesus is telling me to keep a forward mindset this year.  To keep this word in front of me.  Forward.

“Forward always Forward, God Will Provide”

So today for Jesus who speaks so clearly, for sending me this word, Forward and for my husband…I Give Thanks!

Long run up to 5 miles this past weekend.  We want to find a race to run, but my daughter has track meets almost every Saturday in March, so we’ll see.  KOR

Running our long run by our River Trail…
Visited a new to me beach…lots of room to run, looking forward to staying over for a run!

Seasons…

On By runnergirl02In Thankfulness, UncategorizedLeave a comment

We don’t seem to get a “real” fall season. I’m not actually really sure we ever did. I’ve lived here my whole life. I have no real desire to ever leave, even though I find the traffic increasingly annoying and the people I’m surrounded by annoying as well. I shouldn’t say that and it’s not totally true, but I’ve got to say somewhere around Covid it feels like people went crazy. They were less considerate, more rushed and it doesn’t seem like its returned back to 2019 levels or that it ever will. Rush…rush…rush…

Anyway, our “Fall” comes really late in November these days. We haven’t had any significant rainfall in awhile and temperatures stayed in the high 90’s well into October. I don’t care for fall as noted in a previous post, it’s full of sad memories, mostly of loss and for whatever reason that doesn’t seem to be stopping.

My uncle passed earlier in the month. I’m imagining him with my Aunt and my Dad but in reality I’m not real sure how heaven works or if he’s there yet. You know us Catholics, we believe in a thing called Purgatory. I hope he’s in heaven with all the saints.

We have some new seasons approaching in our family. Our daughter is about to graduate high school in a few months. Transitions can be hard for her. I pray that she will be ok and trust in the knowledge that whatever God has planned for her next season of life it is good and for his glory. I think it’s hard for teenagers to think about being part of somebody else’s plan, they can be focused on themselves. I know our daughter loves Jesus. I know she questions and sometimes feels far away from him but I hope she knows that Jesus is always near. I hope when she looks around and sees a beautiful blue sky, beautiful fall leaves, the colors of a rainbow after a storm, a smile from an unexpected person, or someone with a hug to share or a word of encouragement that it’s all from Jesus. We just don’t always “feel” it how we think we should.

My husband and I will face a new season too. Less time shuttling our daughter around, cheering her on at events, yelling her name, and watching her proudly from the sidelines. What will we do? What will I do with the extra time? I’m not sure yet. Sometimes, I’m overwhelmed with sadness at the thought, well, to be honest, most of the time I’m overwhelmed with sadness at the thought. I can only go and sit at the cafe and write so often, lol, maybe more music, and more reading but I so enjoy when she shares her day with me. I love to hear about the “dramas” of the day, what she did in the choir or how practice went. My husband says not to worry, she will still talk with us but “I know it will be different,” I tell him. He usually responds, “Don’t worry about something that hasn’t happened yet.” “I know, I know,” I say unconvinced that all my worst fears won’t come true, that she just won’t need me anymore. “She still needs you now,” he says. “I know, I know,” I say.

The seasons are starting to change. Fall is turning to Winter, and there will be snow this weekend in our mountains, a lot of it I heard on the news this morning. The seasons of our life are changing too and at times they are stormy and scary and things feel like they are being tossed all around and other times like today, they are bright with a beautiful blue sky and wisps of white clouds being pushed by the wind. The fall leaves blowing in the breeze in all their autumn glory, browns, reds, golds dancing in the sunshine.

I don’t know what Winter will bring. I don’t know what the next seasons of our lives will bring but I have thoroughly enjoyed raising our daughter. I have enjoyed all of it, every minute, maybe not the anxious moments but even those can teach us things.

I can’t always be thankful for the changing seasons or not knowing what’s next, but I can be thankful for the present moment, so I’ll try to stay there more often, instead of running ahead to a future only God knows.

For today, and also for cappuccino’s…I Give Thanks!

Running update…running the Turkey Trot next week, hopefully we’ll be healthy and it will be fun. KOR

Fall colors
Enjoying a Fall morning at my favorite cafe.

Finding Blessings Amidst Fall’s Challenges

On By runnergirl02In Thankfulness, UncategorizedLeave a comment

Phew…this has been an interesting fall so far….

Fall is not my favorite season, it’s not a hated season either, it just seems if something is going to go wrong in my world, it always goes wrong in Fall. Big things, little things…ALL the things.

Our good friend Emily, like a Great-Grandma to Laina, a Grandma to us is in hospice. She is 98 years old and just wish she would fall asleep and wake up in heaven, but she’s going through some suffering before she leaves this world of ours and it hurts my heart, especially for her daughter. Her daughter is Laina’s God-Mother, sweet lady who I met many years ago through my own mom and now she’s part of our family 🙂

My uncle, who is 82, has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon and Liver cancer. The primary source was the Colon. He’s done one chemo treatment, ended up in rehab because he was in hospital so long he was weak and having trouble walking but he should be coming home this Wednesday and then back to Chemo. We will see how it goes. He was always kind to me and I hope he doesn’t suffer too much.

My sister-in-law’s mother is in ICU in a medically induced coma because she is having seizures that won’t stop. They had to move her up to Sacramento because they couldn’t help her at the hospital she was in. After just speaking with my brother, my sister-in-law’s Mama seems to be on her way from this world, please bring peace and comfort to her family.

My Dad passed away on September 19th, 2020. My Aunt, his sister, one of my very favorites, a big part of our family, passed away September 9th, 2022. Our baby daughter, Lauren Rose, went to heaven on October 23rd. As you can see Fall is not and has not been kind. I don’t look forward to Fall. I was even sick for my birthday this year! I should have stayed home sick but went to work because I only have so much sick leave and I want to save it so I can attend our daughter’s events. Sigh…

Despite all these sad things, I do try to look at the blessings. The weather is getting cooler and the mornings are like I like them, crisp and pleasant. My brother and sister called to wish me a Happy Birthday, and so did my Mom, and while my students did not know it was my birthday they were good taht day! Pumpkins! I love pumpkins, they are fun to decorate with and look for in a pumpkin patch which we’ve done a few times. Fairs, I enjoy the fairs, in the Fall, visiting the exhibits and seeing the animals, eating the food! Cross Country! My daughter is on her school team and I enjoy watching her run, going to meets, and cheering her on to be her best. Fall concerts for choir. My daughter is in her school’s Chamber Choir and man they are a beautiful choir, so nice to sit and listen to them sing God’s praises on a weekday night. Sunday brunch with family, a long-standing tradition, continues. What a blessing to see my brother, sister, nieces, and nephews almost every Sunday! Time spent with family is a treasure to be sure. We were able to drive down to the coast this past Saturday and it was a beautiful day. Playing frisbee on the beach with my love so fun! Attending Mass at St. Angela’s in PG is always a treat, even if we can never manage to attend their SAMDAG fundraiser, it’s fun to hear about it every year around this time.

I’m not really sure if the good things outweigh the bad things or if I’m seeing it all wrong. I’m sure it’s the latter. Do you ever wish God would just give you a little glimpse to see how it’s all going to turn out? I do, a lot. So I try to turn to his word, it doesn’t always help but I try to remind myself of all His promises and even though that doesn’t always work and it doesn’t always fix the sadness, it’s what I have.

Jesus prays for us in John, Chapter 17. In verse 26 he says, “I made known to them your name and I will make it known, that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them.” Jesus desires to be in us and with us, this is what He said. In verse 24 he says, “Father, they are your gift to me. I wish that where I am they also may be with me. He called us his gift. In Mathew 28:20, Jesus says, “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” He’s talking to his disciples in all these passages but He is also talking those who have been baptized in Christ, His beloved. One of my favorite passages in Matthew is Mathew 6:25 where Jesus talks about where to put our trust. He says, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat (or drink), or about your body, what you will wear.” Jesus doesn’t want us to worry, but to trust in Him, even when the outcome is uncertain and not what we ever wanted or hoped for.

“Oh my sweet Jesus, hear my prayer to you this day, that you would be with all our loved ones and lead them home to you. If they must suffer, may it be short, and may we unite it to your suffering on the cross as we remember the life you gave for us. We don’t understand this life or where it leads and even when we think we do, we don’t see it all, please guard us from the evil one and keep us close to you always. Sweet Jesus, my brother and God my Father, never leave our side and bring us home to you when our race is run. Amen.”

For Jesus, I can always give thanks….

I’ve been sick. Running was going pretty good until a few weeks back, getting back to it, the schedule got thrown off, but we are still doing what we can when we can. Our long run right now is a pretty solid 6 miles, so hopeful to increase this as the weeks go by. Hoping to run a 5k sometime soon. KOR

My favorite spot to relax in God’s love…

A rainbow I saw that reminds me no matter the storms of life, God is always with me…

Hold the door open for someone…

On By runnergirl02In advent, Biblical ReflectionsLeave a comment

Well, this one was easy as I almost always hold the door open for students when they come into class, so task accomplished.  My poor husband though, who I met for lunch, couldn’t seem to get anyone to walk through any door he tried to hold open!  Poor guy.

This topic got me thinking actually about how holding the door open for people is more than just the literal act of holding open a door.  We can all “hold the door open” for people in lots of different ways.  We can take a meal to someone.  We can spend time visiting someone who might be lonely.  We can give a young person some much needed encouragement or sound advice that they might not be able to get at home due to circumstances quite often out of their control.  We can do so many things to “hold the door open.”

Today’s reading was about Isaiah and his prophecy of Jesus.  The gospel was about Jesus telling the disciples basically, hey, I’m THE GUY, THE ONE, remember yesterday when I was wondering what exactly Andrew and Simon saw that made them leave immediately?  Today Jesus said this:

“Blessed are the eyes that see what you see.
For I say to you,
many prophets and kings desired to see what you see,
but did not see it,
and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.”

I believe the bible is a living book.  It speaks to us wherever we are.  It’s God’s way of communicating with us, among others, every time I open it I learn something or hear something I never quite heard before.  God meets us in His word where we are. Today Jesus told me, it’s ME, I AM the one you are looking for, don’t be like the people who refuse to hear the good news, be like a little child.  To do that, Father says you have to be open minded, open to all the possibilities a relationship with Jesus brings.

The Advent reflection today introduced me to a cool website called, wearesaltandlight.org.  My husband and I met with a friend over the summer about trying to do something for the youth at our church to give them the opportunity to go out and practice their faith in a concrete way.  I am of the mind though that kids need models and so if they see their parents and other church members practicing their faith in concrete ways they will follow suit.  We talked about creating a database that contained the different gifts of parishioners so that we could match them up with people in our parish who are in need of concrete help in addition to prayer.  Nick Vujicic from Life Without Limbs, says we are God’s hands and feet.  If you don’t know who he is, google him, and then you will know why this is amazing.  We want our daughter to live her life with intention.  To have a purpose and a goal and so I think we need to model that for her so she knows what that looks like and how it is to live with intention under God’s direction.  Sometimes she’ll ask me what I think she should do when she grows up and I always ask her what she thinks God is asking her to be.  She thinks so far maybe a vet or a nun.  I want grandchildren so I’m hoping for vet, ha ha.  She has a love for animals and she has a love for people.  She has a very sweet heart.  I like that about her.  She is a good example for me.  It was good to come across this website because now it has made me want to spend some time over the break looking through it and really making a plan for this next year and living that plan intentionally.

I feel happiest when I am helping others.  I think most people do in general but I know for some people it feels more like a chore.  I just know that I really have enjoyed having our little troop work on service projects this year instead of some of the other “lessons” we are supposed to be doing.

The other cool reminder I got today, going back to something I mentioned yesterday about migrants and refugees, was that Jesus, Mary and Joseph were refugees.  They had to flee to Egypt to escape Herod.  I never thought of that before. The challenge question today was to think about Mary and Joseph, particularly Joseph and how he must have felt at having to leave his home, frankly for political reasons.  We see that with many many migrants and refugees.  I imagine Jesus is very close to them as He understands what it is to be a refugee.

I am constantly amazed at how God made one person who could understand so many many many different facets of human life.  Jesus was born but also adopted.  He was a refugee.  He was poor.  He worked. He had friends.  He was persecuted and mocked.  He was constantly questioned by the Pharisee, a way to check his intelligence, I suppose.  He suffered the loss of a good friend.  He despaired.  I think we’d be hard pressed to find any situation that we find ourselves in that Jesus didn’t also live through.  Amazing.  Our pastor says that the number one most important thing in our lives is to get to know Jesus, to call him friend.  Today I was listening to a podcast and the woman preacher asked if we were dating Jesus or married to Jesus, because you treat those two situations differently, one is total commitment, the other lukewarm.

Well, lots to think about today.  I didn’t even write about St. John Damascene, who had to flee his country because of religious persecution.  I’m really glad a friend suggested I try out the holidailies because its given me a goal to be intentional about.  Thank you friend!

Today for finding out about wearesaltandlight.org, for being reminded about all the ways Jesus knows me, for my husband holding my door open, for Advent, for good strong run this morning, for the roasted chicken I am making for dinner, and for the beautiful view of the snow on the mountains…I Give Thanks!

KOR

It’s hard to see kind of but here’s a picture of our snow capped mountains. A great sight here in my Ca Valley…