My friend Becky…

In 1998 I walked into room 67 at Hoover High School and I met a woman named Becky Shiner.  I was a third-year teacher and thought I knew everything I needed to know.  I didn’t know it then but she would become my mentor and more importantly my friend, a person I grew to love and admire deeply.  

There were many times when I would watch Becky set up a lab or do something for a class and I would think, I’m going to do it my way, only to come back in between classes to ask her, so how did you do that? Because my way had utterly failed and I realized the brilliance that was Becky, luckily she was patient and never made fun of me when I figured out she knew better…Even today at Hoover High School her labs and lessons are still used to teach the students about Chemistry and Oceanography…another subject she loved 

I would come to school in the morning and I would hear her calling my name, “Deb…” and she’d share a piece of information or some funny or frustrating thing that happened at school or in life…She’d give me a hug hello after every weekend when we were back together on Monday again. I will miss her hugs. Once she went to Hawaii for a visit, imagine my surprise when a coconut with postage on it, showed up for me in the front office.  She had mailed me a coconut from Hawaii.  “Deb…did you get the coconut?” She asked when she called me after getting back, “Yes, Becky, I got the coconut “ “Oh good, they let you mail them from Hawaii, I’m so glad it got there.” I was too, it’s still in my classroom as kids ask about it all the time.   There are so many things around our classroom and back storage area that literally were written by Becky or written on by Becky…

Becky always had nail polish in her back desk drawer and often I’d come in to see her polishing her nails in the morning and I always thought it was a funny thing because it was just gonna come off again, if you taught chemistry you’d know what I mean, but there she would be polishing them again in the morning the next day 

Becky loved Jaxson, and at the beginning of every school year she would always be so excited to receive the beautiful roses he would send her on the first day of the new school year.  She also enjoyed Valentines Day and would happily share the funny and sweet cards she would get from him.  

Becky loved to talk about her boys and when I first arrived Jack was a student at Hoover and Sean would run around the back area here and there usually playing with Lego’s.  It was fun to listen to her share about her family and watch the boys grow up through the years.  She was always so proud of them, even when the Spanish teacher stopped  by again after school to complain that Jack  was visiting too much in class with his buddies.  Years later she would always laugh when she would proudly say and now he’s completely fluent in Spanish. She loved to talk about Sean and his choir recitals, and some days she would run into my room shouting,  “I’m late Deb, I even set the alarm”,  as she rushed out to make it to a swim meet with the snacks in tow. It was fun to watch her get things ready for scouts, sometimes she’d be running around trying to get something done for a scouts lesson, both Jack and Sean were scouts. Once when a Hoover student invited me to an Eagle Scout court she came with me so I would know someone. She loved to share about her grandkids and was always so excited to share when another one was on the way.  She loves her family with all her heart.  

I have so many memories of Becky in my life.  One day at school, I was having a hard time after Jason and I had lost our first baby.  We were in her room after a meeting and Becky  asked me if I was ok and I burst into tears telling her it was just so hard and she just rubbed my back and told me it would be ok and sat with me while I cried.  Becky had no clue that no one besides Jason had done that for me, she just let me cry and comforted me.  Four years later she was the first person at school I told that our adoption had finally gone through and we hugged and rejoiced together. 

Becky always took the time to talk with our daughter Laina and came to her birthday parties.  When Laina was old enough she invited her to come learn to swim at her house.  Laina learned to swim from Becky and when Becky found out I couldn’t swim either she taught me too. I tried to pay her for the lessons once and she said no, it was something she did to share her talents with others. She also taught me how to make soups and lemon bars and her famous sherbet watermelon cake.  Even after she retired she came to Laina’s cross country meets, track meets and Choir recitals.  She joined us for my birthday parties and invited us to bbqs and swimming at her house at least once or twice a summer. 

At Hoover she celebrated everyone’s birthday whether they wanted to celebrate it or not.  She helped organize potlucks and gatherings and every year around Christmas we all got a jar of her pomegranate jelly.  I will miss that jelly. She cared deeply about her students and always wanted to make sure she was doing the right thing for them, even if it wasn’t the thing the district thought we should be doing.  She organized trips to elementary schools for her Honors kids and sold candy bars, collected recyclables and other fundraisers when we needed things for the students. She organized trips to Europe and coached swimming.  She served as department chair and lead teacher.  She was always willing to lend a hand, share a lesson or even help organize a lab.  She had a generosity that is rare. 

I last visited with her the week before school started.  I was sitting with her on the couch holding her hand and chatting with Jaxson about family and I mentioned my Dad had passed away during Covid and Becky looked at me and said, “Oh I didn’t know, I’m so sorry.”  Even in her illness she was generous, thoughtful and kind.  

I will miss her and I will try everyday to carry the memory of her generosity and love for people all my life.  I love you Becky, always. 

For my friend Becky…I Give Thanks!